Silver Whispers
by Terrified of Logic
Summary: It was late at night and no one would hear the screams and sobs of agony that poured from her raw throat. Hot, angry tears soon melted into cries of longing and sadness as she lay on the floor, cheek against the cold linoleum. I didn't mean for you to go. Why did you have to go? GinRan! Fluffy ending.


_Hi! Back with an epic one this time... in terms of length, not sure about the content. But it was fun to write, I had two endings for this story but here's the happy one. Will write the sad one up sometime soon maybe... Anyway on to the story:) Enjoy!_

* * *

_Silver Whispers_

"You…you have pretty eyes."

"Thanks." Rangiku intoned boredly, trying to suppress the urge to roll her eyes, playing with her fork. She had honestly tried to get into the date but there honestly just wasn't enough chemistry. Besides what kind of a comment was that? You have pretty eyes, really now. Because she was seriously falling head over heels for this guy. Not.

The blonde sitting opposite her, shifted in his seat uncomfortably. It was hard not to, the restaurant was loud and busy but the atmosphere around the table had descended into a hot, prickly muffled silence. Rangiku knew she was being rude now, but she didn't care she just wanted the date to end but the restaurant service just wasn't happening. They were still pushing their salads around their plates for the sake of something to do. It wasn't like the food here was bad, the restaurant had actually gotten a Michelin star but Rangiku wasn't in the mood for food. She hadn't been in the mood for food lately at all actually.

"So do you-"

"Are you-"

They both started and blushed. Rangiku let out a nervous laugh, the tension in the air somewhat dissipating with their failed social pleasantries.

"You first." She smiled, for the first time noticing the hue of her partner's eyes. They were actually a shade of blue and green, reminiscent of the ocean on a good day. The candlelight made his eyes flicker a little casting little shadows to jump and play within the iris. They _were_ gorgeous eyes, but she preferred them to be a little lighter. The exact light blue of the sky on a winter's day, with the crisp air, bright sunshine and dry lips brushing over hers…She hadn't realised how intensely she was staring into his eyes when she noticed a blush creeping up his neck over the collar of his Fred Perry shirt.

"R-Rangiku san?" He stuttered a little, swallowing hard under the intensity of her gaze.

"I'm sorry, Kira san, you just have surprisingly nice eyes." She laughed, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, an act so familiar yet so foreign when she did it herself now.

"Surprisingly nice?" Kira asked shocked, mock-offended, hand over his heart as he peered over at her through the curtain of blonde hair.

The waitress appeared with their entrees saving Rangiku from trying to think of a witty comeback. As the plates were placed in front of them, she watched the steam rise from her fresh tomato sauce. She wasn't exactly hungry, but call it reflex, her mouth instantly filled with saliva at the sight of the melting snow like shreds of parmesan, the bright richness of the tomato sauce and the aromatic basil resting greenly on top of the artfully heaped pasta on her plate. Kira himself, had ordered a green bean risotto, dotted with snow peas and powdered with what she assumed was parmesan as well.

The conversation flowed a little easily now that the main objective was to eat, but Rangiku still felt a nagging sensation pull at her stomach. She quelled the feeling and smiled hard at her date as if hoping that if she looked like she was having a good time, her mind and body would believe it too. Her stomach wasn't having it; it gave a particularly aching twist before retreating to the depths from where it came from.

Kira wasn't bad looking, she mused, forking pasta into her mouth pretending to be interested in his description of work as an assistant to company interested in selling soap products. But she couldn't exactly say she liked long hair on men. It was long enough to tie into a ponytail at the back of his neck for goodness sake. She preferred their hair to be long enough to frame their face, but no longer than their earlobes.

Rangiku didn't really know how she ended up agreeing to this date at any rate. Her friend and colleague at work, Nanao had set her up saying that she needed to stop moping, that it was bringing her down and she had just the person to lighten her spirits. Before she knew it, Nanao had pressed a piece of paper with a number, address and time on it before picking up the ringing phone, immediately absorbed with her job.

The strawberry blonde had sat back down slowly at her desk looking at the paper. Nanao wasn't the kind of woman to set up dates, neither was she particularly sensitive to interpersonal relationships involving men. Had she really been that transparent? Rangiku thought she had handled herself well, attending just enough social events to throw suspicion off her back, calling people, texting people as they contacted her when all she really wanted to do was crawl into bed and pretend the outside world didn't exist. It had taken everything to not just sit inside stuffing herself with chocolate and wine, watching Breakfast at Tiffany's on repeat as she cried mascara off.

And so she decided against better judgement, against the throbbing reminder in her head, to text the number on the piece of paper and to set up this godforsaken date.

* * *

"I had a nice time, thank you." She smiled at Kira who had dutifully decided to walk her home. The walk back from the restaurant wasn't too bad. The pleasant exchange of banter from dinner had lasted them through dessert and continued through the obligatory, playful tussle of who was to pay for dinner. Kira, paid of course, claiming it was his duty as a gentleman and she just sighed and put her red leather Coach wallet back into her purse, grudgingly.

"You don't have to be nice, Rangiku san, you looked like you'd seen a rat run over your dinner plate before our entrees came." Kira chuckled as he turned to face her.

His face betrayed no hard feelings, just a crinkle next to his eyes and a sweet smile. An unwanted lump rose to her throat and tears threatened to spill. When was the last time any man been so kind and forgiving towards her? If only she'd met Kira before, maybe they would have had something going on. Maybe she would have felt something for him. Perhaps, he could have been the one she'd have fallen in love with…

The pavement was busy with pedestrians jostling to get home, but as it was in the restaurant, the cocoon of muffled silence had followed them. She shut her eyes, when she felt him brush the hair away from her eyes. He was doing it wrong, but she pushed that thought away as soon as it came, it only made the tears sting more.

"Rangiku san, no matter how you feel, I still had a great time tonight with you. I'm honoured that a woman as beautiful and as charming as you, decided to take a humble man like myself on his offer of a date," Kira said quietly, "I'll admit, I'm a little jealous of the man who got to be with you, to have him affect you this much. But, I know that I'll never be him- I'm not meant to be him." He added at the end, a little wistfully.

"Kira san…" Rangiku uttered softly, reaching for his hand. He stopped her and smiled.

"I do hope though, after everything, that tonight you were able to take your mind off of what's been eating away at you somewhat."

"I did." She admitted, a little shamefully. "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure, remember Rangiku san, you look your best when you're smiling and I feel privileged to have seen it." With that, he leaned in and gave her a small, chaste kiss on the swell of her cheek, far away from her mouth.

"Thank you, Kira san." She called out as he turned to walk away.

"No thank _you_, Rangiku san- and call me Izuru." He turned and waved once before flagging down a taxi.

"Thank you, Izuru." Rangiku whispered, watching the taxi pull away and head for it's final destination.

The ache in her stomach came back with full vengeance. She knew what it was. She knew what it meant and she squeezed her eyes shut. Oh, she was painfully familiar to this gnawing feeling in her gut, having felt it for the last six months. No matter how much time had passed, it had only felt as strong as it did on the day she came to recognise what it meant.

Turning the key in the lock, she kicked off her high heels not bothering with the lights, making a beeline for the kitchen. Standing amidst the flood of yellow light, she enjoyed the cool tendrils of air that wrapped around her face and neck, bathing her as she surveyed who she was going to take to bed tonight. Would it be Merlot or Sauvignon? She decided on Merlot, favouring a deeper flavour at an hour like this. _Drinking at a time like this, Ran-chan? Tut tut. _She jumped, the delicate hairs on her neck stiffening, as if someone had been standing right next to her. Judging her. That voice, it was so familiar. So, gut-wrenchingly familiar. She could recognise that silky, teasing lilt anywhere. She half fought the instinct that rose within her to take a cursory glance around her. But that was ridiculous because she was single and alone and there was absolutely no one in her apartment. But that voice. The tears that had threatened to drip from under her eyelids in front of Izuru finally flooded forth, and she sank to her knees, clutching the bottle of red in one hand while the other leaned against the wall of the kitchen counter for support. It was late at night and no one would hear the screams and sobs of agony that poured from her raw throat. Her chest heaved with the ragged breaths that her mouth inhaled, while her head filled with an iron white heat. Hot, angry tears soon melted into cries of longing and sadness as she lay on the floor, cheek against the cold linoleum.

_I didn't mean for you to go. Why did you have to go?_

* * *

"You spent the night on the kitchen floor, didn't you." He asked flatly, drumming his fingertips lightly across the desk.

"I did not, and shouldn't you be working." Rangiku sniffed pointedly as her boss leaned against her cubicle.

"I should be, but I came to tell you that." He agreed smoothly, taking in his rumpled subordinate's form, the slumped shoulders and the slight bitter smell of vomit that was skillfully hidden by expensive perfume. She said nothing, choosing to remain facing towards an empty computer screen.

"Rangiku, you need to move on." Toshiro insisted, white spikes bristling as he turned to spin her around to face him. She stared at her lap resolutely, feeling his stare burn into the top of her head.

"I'm telling you this as your friend and not your superior." His voice dropped a little bit, "Please Rangiku, I hate seeing you like this. I've known you for almost 10 years now and I've never known you to take so long to get over someone."

She finally looked up at him, dark circles under her tired eyes.

"Do you think I haven't tried? I try everyday, but it hurts. It hurts so much."

"I know." He muttered.

"No you don't-"

"I do!" Toshiro snapped angrily, "It pains me to see you like this, Matsumoto. You are a strong woman and I know you have it in you to deal with this! I know you can do it- and it pains me to see you brought to your knees like this!" His face flushed with his outburst of emotion and admittance, and he quickly crossed his arms to brush off the feeling.

Rangiku was quiet. When she looked up at him, a small smile graced her face but it was a little forced. She leaned forward and gave a quick hug to her boss who jumped a little at the contact and awkwardly patted her back in response.

"Thank you, Toshiro." She said, voice muffled into his chest. He smelled like fresh baked biscuits today, Hinamori was probably baking at home. She felt a twinge of sadness at the thought of Toshiro and Hinamori living together as a happy couple, while she was greeted by a cold bed and kitchen if she forgot to turn the heater on before she left for work in the morning.

"Look, I'll take you out tonight." He muttered, pushing a hand through his white hair. "Whether I'll regret this or not, I have no idea."

"But, you don't even drink." Rangiku looked up in surprise.

"I'm sure I'll manage to find at least one non-alcoholic beverage on the menu." Toshiro said drily, pushing her arms off his middle and looking at her with a softened expression in his teal eyes.

"I suppose. But we haven't gone out for ages!" She protested.

"Look, do you want a free run of my wallet tonight or what?" He barked, temple throbbing.

"Wait, you'll pay for _everything_?" Rangiku raised a doubtful eyebrow.

"Only if you finish work today." Toshiro added, watching her contemplate the idea. "If you don't you'll pay for all _my_ drinks."

"I'm not wasting my money on something cheap like orange juice!"

"Good, then you better get to work Matsumoto, or you'll be paying for 30 dollars worth of virgin Tequila Sunrises." Toshiro left the office satisfied with the grumbling and the hum of the now working computer. But once he left her peripheral vision, he let his smile drop off. His brow furrowing deeply.

* * *

Rangiku fumbled with the buttons of her top before taking it off and casting it on her bed, the shirt joining fifteen other discarded tops. Her teeth bit at her lower lip as she stood clad in only underwear, looking at the now almost empty wardrobe. She had spent all afternoon calling Toshiro and then hanging up before the call actually connected, unsure whether she could physically muster the strength to go out tonight. It was getting dark quickly and the city roused itself, bright lights dotting the city skyline, illuminating the dark sky with a cheerful hue.

She surveyed herself in the mirror. She had always been rather slender for her body size in proportion to her large chest, but as she softly stroked her stomach, she noticed how the skin there had become loose and pale. She hadn't realised how much weight she had lost since...since… Rangiku shook her head. She wouldn't, she couldn't think of him right now. It was funny, she used to stand like this, in her underwear while he would place loving hands on her waist, tracing her stomach, fingers digging into her hips as they slid to cup her ass. A pair of good, strong hands and slender, elegant fingers. She could almost feel the cold whispered trails his fingers left across her skin. He always had such cold hands, even during summer. No matter how much she pressed her mouth to them, no matter how long he kept his hands under her shirt, they always retained a sort of cool quality to them. And how those cool fingers would make her shiver, seemingly heating her up rather than cooling her down when he touched her _like that._

Rangiku's eyes snapped open, without realising her own fingers had trailed up her arms and had been stroking her neck in a familiar way that left her aching for the real thing. She slowly lowered her hands to her side, defeated. She couldn't win against him, she never did.

"I miss you, Gin. Oh, why'd you have to go?" She said aloud, letting her eyes settle on a small frame that had been placed face-down deliberately. For the first time in awhile, she lifted the photograph.

Did this mean she was moving on? The fact that she was able to confront her fears and finally admit to the fact that she had a hole that no one could replace?

"Oh, Gin." She muttered, tracing his sharp jaw that she could almost feel resting on her shoulder the way he used to do as he hugged her from behind, peering at whatever she was working at. Then maybe he would nibble affectionately at her ear and whisper to her, telling her to leave the work and come back to bed, those fingers slipping dangerously under the hem of her skirt.

Rangiku's heart twisted as she remembered the day that picture was taken. It was Christmas, they were at a party at some friend's house, maybe it was Toshiro's and Momo's Christmas party, she couldn't remember. They had always attended numerous parties together. And she had been wearing that velvet turtleneck, with the chain necklace that Gin had bought for her on their first anniversary. Gin had wrapped his arm around her waist, trapping her against him whilst simultaneously placing a biscuit in her mouth. The surprised smile was caught on camera as the picture showed a happy couple smiling at each other, lost in each other's worlds of private glances and knowing smiles.

The harsh sound of a bell jolted her out of her trip down memory lane. _Shit, that must be Toshiro,_ Rangiku thought as she hastily pulled on a bathrobe, fastening it as she ran for the door.

The open door revealed a disgruntled Toshiro, dressed in a nice, white collared shirt, simple black tie and black jacket slung over one shoulder.

"I've been waiting for ten minutes in the cold, before realising you'd probably lost track of time." Toshiro groused allowing himself into the house, making for the kitchen immediately.

"Yes, of course you're welcome to the cookie jar." Rangiku called out after him sarcastically.

"Thanks." The impudent reply came back, followed by the clatter of chairs and cupboards being opened in the kitchen.

"I'm going to get dressed, I'll be back soon." Rangiku shouted as she walked back into her messy room, strewn with clothes. After standing stock still in the middle of her room, sorting through her floor-drobe, she decided on wearing that black velvet turtle neck she loved so much, pairing it with dark skinny jeans. She could always count on her favourite pumps from her vast shoe collection. She saw the picture from that she had dropped on the bed in her haste to answer the door, and propped it back affectionately against her dresser, face up this time. If she was really going to torture herself with the thoughts of him tonight, she might as well go all out. Fishing around her jewelry box, she grasped the long chain of a necklace. It was worn by looping one end of the chain through a ring in the middle. After having not worn it for a long time, the chain had tangled itself into impossible proportions and so she spent the next ten minutes sitting on her bed trying to detangle her anniversary present.

Toshiro walked into her room in the midst of this, raising an eyebrow at the familiar, now upright photo that he hadn't seen for a long time. He was munching on a chocolate chip cookie, watching Rangiku struggle with the chain.

"Need any help?"

"No. But maybe you could replenish my cookie stash. Next time I'll put raisin cookies in there, and you won't be able to tell the difference."

"I don't care, I like raisin cookies." Toshiro shrugged, licking the crumbs off his fingers. Rangiku let out an exclamation as she finally untangled the last of the knots and slid the necklace over her head neatly.

"You're 23 already, Toshiro, you don't need cookies. How do I look?" Rangiku asked as she stood up checking herself out in the mirror.

"Yeah, says the 25 year old who still _has_ the cookie jar." He batted back, refusing to comment on her choice of attire.

"Yes, but I'm a _girl_, I'm allowed to have cookies. It's a rule. Shall we?" Rangiku motioned, as she grabbed her jacket hanging on the door. Toshiro shrugged and followed her out, casting one last glance at the picture frame depicting a happy couple.

* * *

Rangiku pulled the collar of her jacket closer to her face, it was definitely getting colder. She could feel the bite of winter on her cheeks and on her nose, both turning a healthy shade of pink even without the blush she had brushed on.

Toshiro walked beside her, furtively checking his phone with one hand, ever the workaholic. His brow furrowed further, not helping the permanent line between his eyes he now had at the young age of 23. Scowling blackly at message sent by an incompetent subordinate at work, he shoved the phone back into his pocket.

There was minimal conversation between the both of them, yet it wasn't exactly an uncomfortable silence. But Toshiro missed the chatty Rangiku that insisted on slinging her arm around his shoulders, the Rangiku that would playfully style his hair into tall spikes, immune to the glares he would be burning into her. He almost wished she _would_ run her hand through his hair, if it would make her smile, he would endure the fingers that tugged none too gently at his white locks if it meant that she would be her cheerful self again. But as soon as the thought came, Toshiro bit back a bitter smile. He knew that would never happen unless things would be fixed between _them._ Rangiku never told him in detail what happened between her and her lover, but it wasn't a clean break he knew for certain. The evidence of the messy affair still dragging through the office and his friendship with the strawberry blonde. It wasn't like he minded but he knew there was nothing he could do, but to be by her side like he was now. He sighed, white air forming from his hot breath.

"Where are we going?" Rangiku said, looking at him questioningly. "We've been walking for quite a bit, are you sure you know where we're going?"

"Don't be rude." Toshiro huffed, "The event is at the Prince Hotel. I got two tickets from a client and Momo said she couldn't go because she has a late shift at the bakery today."

"Oh." Rangiku said, thinking it over. Her spirits lifted somewhat, but her heart thudded nervously against her chest. The Prince was a renowned hotel, it was elegant and classy but it wasn't exactly a 5 star hotel. It had been awhile since she attended a social party and she was thankful that she wore her favourite peep-toe pumps, the ones with a bow across the toes and a red inner heel. They were incredibly comfortable and she could walk and dance all night with minimal pain, something that couldn't be said for over half of her high heel collection.

They were greeted by a polite concierge who ushered them in when Toshiro flashed the tickets at him. The hotel was spacious and boasted of high ceilings and it seemed particularly busy tonight. The chandelier high above, cast dappled lighting across the floor as they walked past businessmen, couples and people starting their evening in the city. They entered a room that was filled with a comfortable amount of people and waiters mingling around carrying trays of champagne and appetizers. Lively jazz music played from an unknown source and the room was filled with the familiar buzz of chat and laughter.

Rangiku snagged a flute from a passing waiter, pressing the cool edge to her lips and taking a small sip.

"Let's go find somewhere to sit." Rangiku said, pulling lightly on Toshiro's arm.

They found a nice corner where they could see the entire room respectively. The edges of the room were lined with expensive, black couches that were soft to the touch. Rangiku sank down into the cushions, surveying the scene over the top of her champagne glass.

"What do you actually do at these sort of things?" Toshiro grumbled, fiddling with the end of his silk tie, boredom quickly irritating his nerves.

Rangiku shrugged and took another sip of her champagne. Tart yet sweet at the same time, sort of like young love's first kiss. She wrinkled her nose at the cheesy thought.

"I suppose, there's going to be some entertainment, in some form or another at things like this. And I suppose you're supposed to start networking and talking to people. Don't pretend you don't know what a party is, I know you've been to plenty in the past." She smirked at him, after she drained her glass, already eyeing up the bar situated in the center of the room.

"Yeah, still doesn't mean I understand the function of parties." He muttered, eyeing a man who was desperately trying to get some blonde's number as well as something else.

"Toshiro, why don't you try one drink tonight?" Rangiku asked, eyebrow lifting mischievously as she regarded her boss who was currently bouncing his knee, a tic that developed as a result of his boredom.

"No."

"Come on, it'll be fun! Besides, it gets lonely when you're the only one drinking." Rangiku whined, giving him an innocent doe eyed look.

Toshiro sighed and peered at her, she seemed to enjoying herself somewhat. It seemed that bringing her here was a good idea. He mentally patted himself on the back. This was where Rangiku was meant to be, this was who he remembered her to be. The social butterfly, loved and admired by everyone...before… before she'd crumbled into a mere shell of what she used to be.

"One drink only." He conceded, at least she was smiling as she leapt up and headed for the bar. "No vodka!" He called out but it was probably too late as she disappeared between two women in black cocktail dresses who were chatting avidly. He sighed heavily, dreading the flavour of alcohol on his tongue. He hadn't drunk any alcohol since college… which he supposed was where he graduated only a year ago. What he meant was that he hadn't been drinking since his freshmen year at the silly dorm parties, where people ended up in dark corners making out and the smell of weed and cigarettes permeated the air, red cups spilling onto tables and floors.

He sat himself into the sofa more comfortably, awaiting Rangiku's return wondering what she would get him. He might as well reply to the idiot at the office, who was seemingly incapable of doing anything useful. Reaching for his phone, Toshiro set about composing an angry response to his inept subordinate.

* * *

Rangiku bobbed around the edge of the bar, trying to catch the bartender's attention in vain. A loud brunette pushed in front of her rudely, barking out her order to which the bartender started making promptly.

"Hey I was here first!" Rangiku protested, nudging her way to the edge of the bar's mahogany surface. The girl turned around and gave her a scowl, pink shiny lips bared in a snarl. God. This place was meant to be a classy place. It was no different to going out clubbing in the grottiest parts of town. Some people were behaving like animals and this girl, with her eyelids coated heavily in purple eyeshadow was no exception. _Girl, it's not even your shade._ Rangiku thought vindictively. She glared back at the girl until she finally looked away and melted into the throng of people, jostling to get to the bar and order their drinks.

"One Moscow Mule and a Cosmopolitan please." Rangiku had to shout to get herself heard. She clutched the edge of the bar so she wouldn't lose her place in line again. The bartender finally handed her a martini glass full of pink liquid and another glass of amber liquid, bubbles rising to the top popping faintly. She smiled her thanks and carefully took them from him, turning she bumped into someone.

"Excu-" She looked up to apologise and promptly dropped all glassware, splashing alcohol all down her shoes and onto the floor.

Toshiro looked up abruptly. He and several other people heard the sound of glass shattering. He looked for the source of the noise and his eyes immediately stopped on a certain strawberry blonde who was standing stock still.

The party was in full swing but the area near the bar was dead silent, as onlookers observed the tension between the woman who had just bumped into a silver haired man.

"I...You."

"Hello there, long time no see, Ran chan."

* * *

The girl was rendered incoherent as she stared up at her ex lover, standing like a ghost before her. How long had she dreamed of seeing that wispy silver lock of hair falling into those careless eyes? To see that angular jaw that narrowed into a pointed chin… it was like a hell dream come to life. Rangiku didn't know what to think or feel as she stood there, her jeans growing cold as the alcohol seeped into them. She was brought back to life as two waiters came over, and busied themselves picking up the shards of glass and mopping up the liquid.

She felt lightheaded and took a deep breath. She could see Toshiro standing up uncertainly, from where they were sitting earlier. She gave a slight shake of her head, silently telling him to sit down and that she was fine. Rangiku was anything but fine. But for the moment, she collected herself and took a step back out of the mess she had created. She couldn't bring herself to look at the man in front of her. The man who had seemingly materialised out of nowhere after 6 months of disappearing. She could feel herself shaking slightly in her wet heels as she hobbled back to the couches. She knew he was following closely.

The room gradually filled with laughter, chatter and general merriment again, after the unexpected turn of events.

She felt someone wrap their arm around her shoulder protectively, guiding her to sit down on the sofa. She could tell by the faint smell of freshly baked bread that it was Toshiro. She would have smiled appreciatively if she wasn't feeling so shell shocked. She leaned into his side, one hand covering her face.

After rubbing Rangiku's shoulder comfortingly, Toshiro stood up angrily. His brow furrowed even further, making a prominent line.

"Ichimaru," He growled. "What are you doing here?"

"Hey, do I need a reason ta be somewhere?" Ichimaru replied lightly, grin widening.

"You do, when it involves Rangiku. Don't you think you've done enough?"

"Done enough? Why, I was only doing wha' I was told to."

At this statement, Toshiro's eyes narrowed in puzzled confusion. A tugging on his hand had him looking back at Rangiku. She got her feet unsteadily.

"It's fine Toshiro," She grasped his hand briefly before turning to finally face the man in front of her. "I can do it. I'll talk to him. I need to go home and change my shoes anyway." Rangiku wriggled her feet experimentally, wincing when she felt the excess liquid in her shoes.

"But-" Toshiro protested, pointing at the still grinning man. "He's dangerous!"

Rangiku gave a wry laugh.

"Gin may be a lot of things, but he's not dangerous."

* * *

After reassuring Toshiro multiple times and promising to call him the next morning, Rangiku finally left the hotel with Gin.

She felt her heart beating furiously against her chest as she walked down the pavement. She stole a glance through the curtain of blonde hair that hid her face from him.

He was looking the same… as he always did. Nonchalant grin on his face, curiously silver hair framing his face and those eyes. Eyes that were always narrowed in a constant state of mirth, as if he had heard the punchline of a joke before anyone else did. He had his hands in his pockets as he walked beside her easily. His ease and relaxed state of being, angered Rangiku somewhat. How dare he just appear out of nowhere and act like no time had passed at all? Did he even know how she had felt, what she had gone through since he had left her?

"Ya're wearing that necklace." He finally spoke up, looking at her from the corner of his eye.

Rangiku jumped at the sound of his voice and immediately looked down at the chain resting on her chest. She blushed hard feeling blood rush into her cheeks as she furiously tried to come up with a reply that didn't make her sound like she was making excuses.

"It looks good on you. It always did."

"Can you not?" She said, voice strained. God, she hated the way he said the most unnerving things. The way he disarmed her so easily. She pinched herself in an effort to bring back some of her sanity.

They descended into silence again, apart from the tapping sounds that her shoes made against the concrete. The street was quiet, as they moved further away from the part of the city that entertained for a living. The trees rustled with the wind, and a car beeped in the distance.

Rangiku slid her key into the lock and as she did so, Gin reached out and enclosed her free small wrist within his large hand. She stiffened and turned to look at him. It was the first time they had touched all evening. His hands were cold as ever against her skin, but it just felt so familiar. Something twisted in her stomach. Gin didn't say anything, he just tightened his hold on her wrist slightly before letting go.

They entered her house.

* * *

"I'm just going to get dressed...you go sit in the kitchen." Rangiku ordered as she pushed past him and practically ran for her bedroom, not caring whether he saw how flustered she was or not. Once in the safety and privacy of her room, she wrestled off her damp jeans and took off the offending necklace that had been burning into her self-consciously ever since Gin had pointed it out. The one day she thought it would be okay to wear it. She smiled bitterly at the irony of it all. She quickly hopped into a pair of grey sweats, savouring the feeling of warm cotton against her cold legs. Rangiku cast a glance at the photo that was upright on her dresser. Walking over to it, she picked it up and ran a thumb over it. She covered Gin with one hand and stared down at the picture and made her decision.

The kitchen was brightly lit and Gin sat obediently in one of the chairs, two steaming mugs set on the table. She slid into the chair opposite and just looked at him, determined to take control of the situation and herself.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I'm drinking tea, see?" Gin smirked, lifting the mug to his lips.

"Don't be a smartass, you know what I mean." She snapped. "Were you following me? Is that why you were at the event?"

"No, that was just a coincidence. I've just come back from being abroad." Rangiku lifted her eyebrows.

"Well someone's been busy."

Gin's ever present grin dropped at that, and he looked at her with full piercing blue eyes.

"Yeah, I have and I didn't enjoy a second of it."

"I just don't understand, why did you leave?"

"You told me to."

"No I didn't...I…" Rangiku stammered, trying to think back to that night.

_It was close to 1 in the morning and Gin still hadn't arrived. Dinner had long gone cold but the way she was glaring angrily at the plate of steak and potatoes they should have been burnt to a crisp. It was late but she refused to go to bed, now it was just wounded pride keeping her up and out of bed. She heard the twist of a key in the lock and her glare set further into her face, she crossed her arms tightly across her chest waiting for Gin to walk into the kitchen. _

"_Oh you're still up?" He asked as he placed his keys on the table. _

"_Where have you been?" Rangiku ignored his question. _

"_Just… about." Came his vague reply. "Do we have any more tea?"_

"_Gin. You've said that for the past two weeks, this isn't fair. You can't just disappear without saying anything!" _

"_Sorry." _

"_Sorry!? What does that word even mean to you? Because I'll tell you now, that word doesn't mean anything to me anymore! Where have you been and answer me, goddammit Gin!" Rangiku said crossly, hand slapping the table angrily. _

"_I can't tell ya that, I'm sorry Ran chan."_

"_Why not? Is it something bad? What can't you tell me? Maybe I can help." _

"_It's not anything bad, I just can't tell you."_

"_Why not!?" _

"_I just can't, alright? Can you leave it already?" Gin muttered, annoyance creeping into his voice. He refused to look at her. _

"_It's another woman isn't it. You've been seeing someone else behind my back." She pointed an angry finger at him, hurt lacing through her accusation._

"_Don't be stupid, Rangiku." She could see his jaw was tense. _

"_Don't you fucking call me stupid. I hate the way you always pretend like you're better than me, how you always look like you know more than anyone else. Just get out." Rangiku turned, a hard lump had formed in her throat without her ever realising. She heard him rustle and footsteps left the kitchen. A faint slam of the front door and that was the last she had ever heard of him._

"But I didn't mean it." Rangiku protested

"You did at the time." Gin reminded her softly, holding her gaze.

"Maybe at the time I did, but I don't- I never actually meant for you to go! I was so hurt when you left. You just left without even saying anything. You could have at least told me something." She shifted about in her seat uncomfortably.

"It's not like I wanted to leave either." Gin agreed.

"Then why did you? I still don't understand."

"I dunno, you seemed pretty upset that night. Didn't seem like you ever wanted to see me again."

"Maybe, but that didn't mean you had to leave the country and go do- what did you even do for six months?" Rangiku suddenly asked. What _had _he been doing for six months? Was he implying that it was her fault that he left? That he had been punishing her for her careless words? In that case it was a bloody good punishment because it had hurt to see the love of her life vanish into thin air. It had taken her so long to finally realise that. She would never push him away like that again.

Gin was silent.

"You didn't… meet anyone, did you?" Rangiku asked almost fearfully, interpreting his silence in the worst ways possible.

"I didn't. Although I did meet a kind old lady. I worked for her for several months, although it was more like volunteering. Funny story really, but I felt awfully bad for her since she was living alone and her house was a wreck. I just fixed the place up and tended to the garden for a bit, cleaned up the place. That sorta thing. I guess I took longer than expected." Gin shrugged.

"So you left here and went abroad to help an old lady." Rangiku commented flatly, honestly not believing any of it.

"Mostly."

She had nothing to say to that. She understood what he wasn't saying and she could only think about how stupid she was to have let him go like that. She picked up the now warm mug of coffee and took a sip. She nearly choked. Not because it tasted bad, but because it had tasted overwhelmingly good. She had nearly forgotten how well Gin knew her and how she liked her coffee.

"Rangiku, do you want to know what I couldn't tell you that night?" He reached for her hand on the table, and this time she let him lace their fingers together. She closed her eyes, heart thudding slowly against her chest, she wanted to shake her head, yes and no. But in the end she just bowed her head and didn't say anything.

She heard something being pushed across the table.

"What's that." She whispered, tears edging into her voice. She knew exactly what it was. And she couldn't stop this feeling of warmth, flooding out from her heart. It was like trying to contain water in your palms. It just flowed through the cracks and down the sides. That is exactly how she felt, looking at the small innocent looking velvet box. Her heart leapt into her mouth, her fingers refusing to touch, let alone open the box...just in case…

"That, is what was keeping me busy for the last month we were together. The jeweler and I had...discussions, you could say." He said darkly, at the thought of the so-called jeweler.

"I was going ta give it to you on our anniversary, but you told me to leave and I guess… well I guess I never got the chance, did I?" Gin smiled ruefully, thumb stroking across hers. Rangiku, wiped away a tear and swallowed thickly.

"Open it." He urged. She shook her head, fingers tightening in his. Gin sighed, and without letting go of her hand he opened the box and placed it on the table for her to see.

A beautiful, sparkling diamond sat on a golden ring with what looked like small rubies studded into the sides. The diamond itself wasn't too big or too small. It would fit perfectly and she knew it would because she was the one who had been looking at it all those weeks before, while Gin had grimaced at the price.

Gin plucked the ring from it's bed and held it out to her.

"Look."

She took the ring from him with a shaky hand and peeked inside the band. She couldn't stop the smile that had worked it's way on to her face. A chair was pushed back abruptly, and suddenly he was by her side.

"I didn't know whether you'd let me back into your life after that, but I did go and get the ring engraved while I was abroad, the jeweler here didn't want ta do it because he said there was a high chance that it might mess up the ring and he said he didn't do refunds.

"I'm sorry for all the pain that I caused, but I never stopped thinking about you once. Don't ever think that I'll leave you of my own volition." Gin said, clasping her hand within his large ones.

"I promise that I'll be more careful with my words next time." She said holding his gaze, letting one hand sweep through his hair. She savoured the feeling that she had been missing for so long. It was so strange how they could pick up where they left off instantaneously. She gave a wry smile when she thought back to how much she had blamed him for leaving her, when really it was just something they could have worked out together.

"No more running away, Gin, alright?"

"No more saying things you don't mean." He smiled and pressed her hand to his lips.

Rangiku closed her eyes, she couldn't think straight with all the chemicals running rampant in her body. She didn't know how the future would plan out from here now that he was back. She sort of had a vague idea that she refused to acknowledge until it actually happened. It would probably be best to take things slow at a time like this- when things were so up in the air. She opened her eyes to tell him so when-

"Marry me." Gin said, decisively, kneeling before her. She gaped at him.

"What?"

"I said-"

"No, no I heard what you said, I just...I…" She stammered, she was sorting expecting to pop the question now that he had shown her the ring, but she hadn't expected him to ask her tonight.

"You don't want to?" The grip on her hand tightened. He didn't want to let her go.

"I do. I do so much, but you've just come back and it's just a little bit much to take in," Rangiku said slowly, trying to rationalise her thoughts. Why exactly was she refusing his proposal?

"I just think, we should take it slow a bit, catch up on what we've missed." She said, finishing breathlessly. Her heart was screaming at her to take back her words and jump into his arms, accepting her fate as his fiancee. But her brain told her to take it one day at a time and that even though she might be elated now, there were still unspoken things that needed to be acknowledged. Maybe not tonight, but definitely before any deals were sealed.

"I understand."

"Do you...do you have a place to stay tonight?" Rangiku asked tentatively.

"I'm at the hotel near the post office."

"Oh…well… I was going to ask if-"

"I'd love to." Gin's wide grin was back on his face as he stood up. He pulled her up with him as well and suddenly he hugged her.

She felt his familiar arms wrap around her tired form. It was an exhausting night and her mind felt like it had circled the world three times. He was whispering nonsensical things in her ear and she was mumbling things into his chest while familiar fingers pushed and tucked loose blonde hair behind her ear. They pressed closer together, trying to close the gap that had separated them for far too long.

"You idiot." She said, muffled into his shirt. "Don't you ever leave me again." She fisted the back of his shirt, while inhaling his scent that she had missed so much. "You fucking idiot."

"I love you too, Ran chan." She felt him grin against her neck, his warm breath ghosting over her skin causing shivers to break out. She'd always been a sucker for affection against her sensitive neck.

Feelings of relief, welcome and happiness were filling and flooding her very being as she finally registered the whole night in it's full. She gripped his shirt and as they both looked at each other, light blue meeting stormy grey in all it's passionate fury. Time had slowed down to let them appreciate the moment of the calm before the storm and then... Gin bent his head, silver hair tickling her nose as he closed the distance between them, allowing them to share their first kiss in half a year.

* * *

_Epilogue: 2 months later:_

"Toshiro," Rangiku exclaimed.

"It's Hitsugaya at the office." The diminutive white haired boss snapped as he walked into the said office.

"I can't decide on what sort of flowers to have at the wedding, will you help me?" Rangiku continued, ignoring Toshiro's previous statement.

"I'm a male, what makes you think I have any idea what sort of flowers are meant to be presented at a wedding? Besides you shouldn't even be on bridal sites during office hours. Go talk to Momo if you need help with that sort of thing." He said brusquely, masking his happiness as he observed his bubbly subordinate and long time friend. A completely different, no a renewed and rejuvenated woman that he hadn't seen for a very long time.

"I did! But she said that I had better ask _you_, because apparently you planned over half of the wedding!" Rangiku said, eyes crinkling mischievously watching Toshiro's cheeks grow bright red as he lost composure magnificently.

"I did no such thing!" He stomped out of the cubicle angrily and Rangiku giggled at his retreating back.

"_You should ask him to plan the dinner."_ A teasing feminine voice issued through the receiver that was on the desk, Rangiku picked the phone up again.

"Did you hear all that?"

"_Yup. He's so cute when he blushes, isn't he?"_

"Oh, most definitely."

"_Rangiku chan?"_

"Hmm?"

"_Just before I have to go, I just wanted to say congratulations again." _

"Thank you, I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life."

"_You deserve it, take care of yourself alright? We wouldn't want anything happening to you before the actual day comes! I have to go now, but call me if you need help with the wedding ok?" _

"I will! Bye, Momo." Rangiku placed the receiver back where it belonged and looked out of the window. What a wonderful winter day, crisp and light blue, so very reminiscent of him.

She smiled and placed a hand on her lower stomach gently and briefly, before turning to call another number.


End file.
